Lonely Again
No, I am not actually straight.

demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction until they form a strong emotional connection with someone, often in a romantic relationship. The term demisexual comes from the orientation being “halfway between” sexual and asexual. Nevertheless, this term does not mean that demisexuals have an incomplete or half-sexuality, nor does it mean that sexual attraction without emotional connection is required for a complete sexuality. In general, demisexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone of any gender; however, when a demisexual is emotionally connected to (usually in love with) someone else, the demisexual experiences sexual attraction and desire to the same degree as a sexual person, but only towards the specific partner or partners.

According to Rabger’s model, a person who identifies as a demisexual does not experience primary sexual attraction but does experience secondary sexual attraction. In this model, primary sexual attraction is based on outward qualities such as a person’s looks, clothes, or personality while secondary sexual attraction is attraction stemming from a connection, usually romantic, or from status or how closely the person is in relationship to the other.

Though factors such as looks and personality do not affect primary sexual attraction for demisexuals (since demisexuals do not experience primary sexual attraction), such factors may affect romantic attraction, as with any other orientation.


Well, for all practical reasons I am. I used to identify as Pansexual and gray-a because it almost explained everything. Technically I am demisexual as defined up there. I portray my sexuality as a choice in the form of a purity ring simply because I want it to be entirely clear to my future partner that I will not sleep with them until I am ready - that sex is a big thing. Yes. I am a virgin, and yes, I am a Christian. 

Yes, I am attracted to my boyfriend. Yes. I love him. 

No, I do not go around telling people this.