Fuck. It’s ironic how empty I am because
I swear 6 months ago I had the universe inside
of me but I cried the rivers in my bones dry.
The volcanoes in my chest erupted when you told
me you didn’t love me anymore and lava flooded
my body and hardened till I stopped sleeping.
I had stars in my lungs but I burned them
all out with the cigarettes I was smoking
to get you the fuck out of my throat. The
flowers growing at the bottoms of my
stomach are dead. Apparently you
can’t water flowers with vodka.
I had the sky in my veins but it’s
been pretty fucking stormy since I
ripped them open. I had planets
on the tip of my tongue but
the debris from the shattered
remains of “us” have been
crashing into them. I was
everything. And then I met
you and we were everything.
Now you’re fucking some
blonde girl who gets
high all the time and
I’m a fucking
I pushed away all of the good things that came to me and held on for dear life to all of the things that were no good for me. My whole world is a mess, it always has been.
1. Stop looking for love between the sheets with people you won’t ever call back, and stop giving them reason to think that you might.
2. It’s okay if your feelings towards someone change, yes it’s awful but it’s also natural, and mostly unavoidable. That’s out of your control, how you deal with it isn’t. Be kind.
3. Just because your father left when you were little doesn’t mean everyone will, take care of others.
4. Just because your father left when you were little doesn’t mean someone else won’t, take care of yourself.
5. Just because you can walk away from something doesn’t mean you should. No one is replaceable, whether they played a big part in your life or not.
6. Not all goodbyes are for the best.
7. Some goodbyes are.
8. It’s okay to tell someone ‘don’t fucking speak to me again’ and still will it to be their voice on the other end of the phone when it rings.
9. Forgive yourself. For all the shitty things you do, apologise to the people you hurt and forgive yourself, even if they don’t.
10. You are you, and you can’t change that (for the most part anyway). Love every inch of yourself and when someone else doesn’t, kiss yourself better and move the fuck on. Your self worth isn’t defined by how someone else sees you.